mike

I think I'm going to lose my driver's license... and all just because of a stupid police officer... The conversation went like this when I got pulled over in my car: Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!" Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything." Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?" Me: "A car." Officer: "Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi, or a Ford?" Me:"I have no idea!" Officer: "So, you're drunk." Me: "But I didn't drink anything." Officer:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you. What is it? Me:"A motorcycle." Officer: "Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki, or a Harley?" Me: "I have no idea!" Officer: "As I suspected, you're drunk!" Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter-question. Me: "So..., counter-question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes, and only a bra as a top. What is this?" Officer: "A prostitute of course." Me: "Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife, or your mother?" Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...

I was strolling around the Marthas Vinyard this morning at about 7am when I noticed Obama and his his wife fell into the water. they both were struggling to stay afloat because of all the jewelry and clothing from us U.S. taxpayers. If they didn't get the help they would surely drown! Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the 'Good Samaritan' side of my nature, I informed the Police, the Coastguard, the secret service, and even the Fire department. It is now 11 a.m., both terrorists have drowned, and none of the authorities have responded. I'm starting to think I wasted four stamps!!!!

THE LOST AMERICAN............There is no equality in this land. In America, equality denoted the ability to stand by your beliefs and voice your differences without being labeled a racist...a bigot... Or any other moniker that promotes the intolerance that the supposed tolerant preach about. This land is not the America I am from. In this land, equality is only for those who accept what is popular... For those who believe in the righteousness dictated by media and politics. Equality here is decided upon and spewed forth like socialist drool from the blind ignorant who believe that their path to utopia is the only way to peace and tranquility. In my land... America... This was also known as a cult. We are divided here. This division creates vulnerability. This vulnerability can lead to destruction. But are we all innocent?... No, we're not. Those of us who know what this land can be capable of, those of us who desire that equality... We fail in our drive, our motivation, and our sacrifices. We do not spend the effort and energy to put forth the fortitude and action needed to promote true equality. This is where our weakness lies. This is the strength of the self-righteous intolerant tolerants. Equality should be everyone's right to agree and disagree with all ideas, whether we deem them right or wrong. And we should be able to do so without persecution. Instead, when we disagree with the popular, the politically motivated, or the media-induced dribble... We are labeled, untolerated, and judged to be bigoted, racist, and prejudiced. In this land, equality is only available to the subordinate. I am Lost.